I've been living with a severe fear of spiders most of my life as many people have. However, I'm firmly convinced that my fear is special; my fear lives and pulsates at the very core of my being, easily awakened at the most awkward of moments. Large spiders literally make me scream - and not a deep, bellowing manly scream either. The scream tends to be absurd and girly. As a person with a true fear of spiders (arachnophobia), being confronted with a decent sized spider is akin to a person with a fear of heights being hung by his/her left foot from the edge of a tall building.
It was so much fun being me as a young boy camping with my parents on a spider infested island on the Mississippi, or being trapped on the floor of a small canoe with spiders dropping from the overhanging trees as we meandered through the backwaters.
Man has only been on this earth a fraction of the time spiders have. I'm convinced that when we humans finally came along with our superior intellect, spiders took delight in dropping down from webs to dangle in front of us - showcasing those bizarre, quick leg movements while wrapping their squirming prey in death cocoons and taunting us with their alien facial features filled with multiple black eyes of various sizes. In other words, using our intellect (with it's vivid imagination) against us.
At this moment, I am typing on my computer which is located in my damp, spider infested basement. From my vantage point, I can see four different spiders hanging around in their webs a safe distance from me (out of my sphere of fear). In recent weeks, there have been a few instances in which spiders have dropped from the ceiling directly above me and dangled inches from my face (quick swat, girly scream). They have also been detected in my peripheral vision, crawling down the PC tower (quick backward roll in my chair inducing back pain, girly scream). So far, so good today. I continue to type, trying boldly to be an adult about the whole thing. All the while keeping my peripheral vision on active duty. I'm sure I'll be fine today, but the thought keeps nagging me that the worst is yet to come - the dread of that one day when a large, fast spider crawls across the keyboard sending me to that place akin to being dangled from the roof of the Sears Tower by my left big toe (insert playground of girly screams).
This is the place where we are to record the next "Penquins" big hit!!? I think we have our idea for a song here. - Bruce
ReplyDeleteYes. The spiders and centipedes are quite awe inspiring.
ReplyDeleteYour extreme fear of spiders is a genetic thing passed down to you from Grandpa Artie. When your grandpa was in basic training during WWII, he of course had to train on the rifle range. The guys would have to each in turn crawl down into a dirt hole and hold up a target when called upon to do so. Some other guy would then fire live ammunition at the target. Your grandpa tells of a time when the hole in which he was to crawl into for safety was full of very large spiders. This was Texas after all and who knew how lethal (not to mention ugly) these 8 legged monsters might be. Rather than crawl into the spider infested hole, your grandpa stretched himself out on the groud as flat as he could. When it was his turn to raise the target he did. He laid perfectly still on top of the ground while live rounds of ammunition zinged all around him. He would much rather risk being shot and possibly killed by a rifle shell than share a small cramped space with spiders. So, kiddo, you come by this honestly.
ReplyDeleteMom