Before Voting on Tuesday, Please Read This Editorial Concerning Some Serious Problems With the Tea Party Movement

The following text was written by my friend, Chad Brown. 

"Okay Tea Partyers: Stop claiming that you want to return the Federal Government to what our founding fathers envisioned. It is a nonsensical argument that displays sheer ingnorance.
First, it ignores the fact that our founding fathers could not agree on how much power should be invested in the Federal Government. (Federalist and anti-Federalist papers, anyone? And how about those pesky Adams-Jefferson letters from the early 19th century?) It took Congress 11 years to draft a Constitution that was passably agreeable and the Bill of Rights (limiting the power of the Federal Government) is the direct result of concessions granted by the Federalists in order to secure anti-Federalist votes; proof that our founding fathers were skilled at compromise and willing to keep the issue open for further debate. Establishing a claim that our government today does not somehow match the expectations of the founding fathers can only be accomplished by cherry picking the specific founding fathers that agree with your particular position and then conveniently ignoring all the others.  Second, it ignores our country’s 234 year history of growth and maturation. When our founding fathers wrote that all men were created equal, they really did mean “men“. Women were excluded. So were the non-white variety of men. And, while we’re at it, men without land were often less equal than men with land. I also recall that we fought a pretty big war that ultimately decided some very important issues regarding the Federal Governments ability to regulate the states (Civil War for those of you who are having a hard time keeping up). It also ignores important Judicial rulings such as the “Incorporation of the Bill of Rights”. Our founding fathers, through the Constitution, established a sturdy framework for government that is still relevant today precisely because it did not try to specifically define exact roles or boundaries. It was a stroke of genius that the founding fathers left the specific details of governance to be defined by later generations based on the needs of the times in question rather than attempting the hubris of creating an all encompassing document that would only have proved inflexible and that would have quickly lost relevance. If you feel that the current Federal Government is too large, exceeds it's power, or performs functions that belong to the states, then make your arguments current by backing them up with reason and evidence from this century that is relevant to our day and age and takes into account our entire political history instead of leaning on some sad and misinformed premise that our founding fathers would all unanimously agree that we all have it wrong today and that we need to “return“. If you cry easily, then do not bother posting a contrary position as I intend to thoroughly and verbally abuse you."

Poll Results

Being that I can't seem to get any more than 12 people to vote, I'll go ahead and reveal the name of the musical group that was actually fake: "Gimme My Binky." All the others (including "The Throbbing Testicles") are real bands. Yikes.

Movie Reviews of the Old, Odd, and Obscure (Part 6)

Actual movie poster from 1948

Title sequence showing the washed out colors to come

Rubber dinosaur food

Actors on a sound stage watching a rear projected image of clumsy guys in dinosaur suits

Plastic sauropods that barely move

We're gonna kill ya....just give me a few minutes...whoops..wait, I can't see

This guy was actually scary in a couple scenes

Unknown Island (1948) Albert J Cohen Productions and Image Entertainment


Made way back in 1948 and starring Richard Denning (who would later star in "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and 'The Black Scorpion"), "Unknown Island" follows the adventures of a group of people exploring an island populated by prehistoric creatures. There are some internal conflicts among the group (most notably a vicious, alcoholic ship's captain who menaces the group even more than the dinosaurs), but not much else needs to be said about the "plot."

Being an avid dinosaur fan for most of my life, I've always loved watching almost any movie with dinosaurs in them - no matter how bad the movie was. Well, "Unknown Island" performs a miracle. It actually challenges me to like it. Sure, the acting and dialog are not bad, but the dinosaurs - oh my God - the dinosaurs. Normally a plus for me in any dinosaur movie is when the special effects don't consist of big lizards dressed up with fake horns, fins, and plates. I usually hate that. This movie, though, uses...uh....extremely fake rubber/plastic things with stationary legs being dragged by strings and tries to pass them off as dimetrodons. Those are the first creatures the viewer sees and frankly I think I'd rather see lizards. Then the viewer is treated to frequent scenes of what should be scary, meat eating, bipedal dinosaurs. What the viewer sees instead are shots reused over and over of two or three guys walking around clumsily in rubber dinosaur costumes. It's clear that these slow, ungainly, things can barely move without tripping on their feet, yet the viewer is supposed to believe these bottom of the barrel Toho rejects are chasing people down and eating them. Now, I have nothing against "suit-mation" (guys in monster suits) when it's done well (like in many Japanese monster movies), but the director who made "Unknown Island" appears to have given his dinosaur actors only one command: Walk around aimlessly.

Okay. Once I was past my initial severe disappointment, I found the movie was obviously good for a few laughs - and that is what makes it worth watching! That and there actually is a reasonably scary ape-like creature with sharp teeth and claws that menaces them at times.

Although this movie was undoubtedly made on the cheap, they did actually spend a few extra bucks to film it in color. The film quality itself on the DVD is passable, but full of ugly blemishes and sometimes washed out colors. A perfect fit for the "special" dinosaurs in it.

Movie Reviews of the Old, Odd, and Obscure (Part 5)

A simple but effective shot

Stomping across the scene

The DVD cover

It's SUSIE the computer!

Kronos (1957) Regal Films through 20th Century Fox


Directed by Kurt Neumann who would direct the much more successful, "The Fly" the following year in 1958, Kronos is a rarely seen (at least in Winona) low budget science fiction movie about a gigantic energy eating robot from space. An astronomer/scientist (Jeff Morrow who also starred in "This Island Earth") discovers a meteor like object heading toward earth using an interesting (large 1950's style) computer named SUSIE (Synchro Unifying Sinometric Integrating Equitensor!!). The space object is shown crashing into the ocean and then soon after a lab director is taken over by that same otherworldly entity in order to "interact" with humans. Creepy light and shadow are used effectively as the man's eyes become wide and intense while he goes on a murderous rampage in an effort to reach the computer, SUSIE, and sabotage any plans the earth may have to stop him. Stop him from what? Well, allowing a big, blocky robot the size of a skyscraper to stomp across the land and consume power from various power plants. The viewer finds out later that this power is needed back on the robot's home world.

Although the movie was made on the lowest of shoestring budgets, I have to give the filmmakers credit for creating some effective set pieces. My favorite is a simple shot utilizing the films entire widescreen view to show the robot stomping from one end to the other across the horizon. The simplistic animation of the "legs" only shows them go up and down, so it is never clear how the device is able to move forward or backward. Yet, those scenes combined with the thumping sound effects, are really amusing to watch.

Kronos is an entertaining (if somewhat slow moving) movie that utilizes plenty of silly 1950's pseudo-science, paranoia, and amusing special effects shots. Please note that a secondary character (kind of a coworker to the main scientist) is played by George O'Hanlon who would later go on to be the voice of George Jetson!

Questions for the Cosmos (or Anyone Who Would Care to Comment)

1.   What would it be like to have a giant, mutant amoeba as a pet?

2.   Why does watching NASCAR races on TV make me sleepy? Am I missing something?

3.   Why do foods that are horrendously fattening taste so good? I'm convinced that macaroni and cheese will eventually be proven healthy as well as promote world peace.

4.   When you were a kid, did you have to walk to school? If so, was it really up hill both ways? Prove it.

5.   The last time you were abducted by space aliens, what kind of brain extractor did they use? Mine was powered by astro-squirrels.

Movie Reviews of the Old, Odd, and Obscure (Part 4)

Dogora starts out as a space cell

A nice shot of Dogora lifting a bridge

This photo exemplifies the gorgeous colors used in the film for these shots

The DVD cover

Dogora, the Space Monster (1964) Toho


The movie begins and occasionally reverts back to a silly plot about Japanese diamond thieves trying to figure out who or what is taking their stash of gems. Well, you guessed it. Large floating cellular creatures are eating these gems and as they continue to consume they eventually mutate into giant jellyfish looking creatures from space. They are ultimately revealed hovering in the upper atmosphere and are then shown sucking up carbon based material from the earth. At first we see a jewel thief, vehicles, and then eventually scenes of whole piles of coal being pulled up into the clouds. After a while, the creatures use more and more power and eventually trains, bridges, and other structures are shown breaking apart and then flying up into the sky.

Dogora is fascinating to me for no other reasons than it's weird and kind of cool. Although the movie is not exactly a thrill ride and the characters are rather dull and wooden (not to mention the atrocious dubbing of American actors voices in place of the original Japanese - worse than usual anyway), the movie contains some absolutely beautiful special effects shots. Once the goofy plot gets out of the way and the creatures are finally revealed floating in the atmosphere, the viewer is treated to some really nifty shots of destruction. The scenes of coal, trains, and bridges flying into the air are probably the best effects work ever created by Eiji Tsuburaya (Toho special effects master behind most of the original Godzilla movies as well as other Toho creations). The movie was also directed by Ishiro Honda who helmed most of those same movies.

The DVD showcases a nice clean print with vivid colors and very few blemishes from the original film source. If you're not a rabid fan of these kinds of movies like I am, it's probably best to just skip ahead to all the monster sequences and ignore the dull and annoying dialog scenes.

The "Heart" of the Republican Party?

Midterm elections are fast approaching. The average poll is showing that Republicans will probably be taking back a number of seats (based on the mood of the country). As a liberal leaning guy, I find that news unfortunate but certainly not surprising being that the country’s economy is not recovering very fast. Historically, whichever party is in charge during tough economic times is typically punished on election day. Assuming this is what happens in November, Republicans will likely take control of Congress. (and with fear being shoved down the throats of so many people getting most of their information from Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, Democrats could lose big).

Now, I’m a reasonable guy. I’m perfectly fine with another political party coming into power as long as it has the best interest of America at heart. What worries me, though, is that I’ve yet to hear any alternate solutions to our economic troubles from the Republican party - other than helping the rich with continued tax breaks and continued deregulation of the financial industry - the latter helping us into this mess to begin with. There also continues to be a flourishing lobbying industry happily giving millions of dollars to our politicians. It seems obvious to me that our politicians care more about helping the companies who give them money than helping lower and middle class Americans. This has been going on for many years with no end in sight. Nothing like stating the obvious…duh. Yet here we sit with this problem.

Worse still and even more problematic in my opinion are certain elements on the extreme right-wing fringe of the Republican party. An element that has become louder and getting a lot of media attention during the past year - brought to the forefront during last summer’s town hall meetings. Right-wing media continues to fuel these people’s fears of an evil socialist government that was hell bent on taking away their guns, forcing them to believe in science, and starting some kind of socialist health care system that would likely kill their grandma. No Muslim president who was really born in Kenya was going to take away their right to have expensive insurance that refuses to cover them when they have a pre-existing condition.

Now, if more Republicans would speak out against these fringe elements, I might be able to respect them a bit more. So far, though, most of them seem to encourage the behavior. Why? Is it really so important to have the votes of these dumb-ass rednecks? It probably is. Here are a couple of examples of Republicans who actually spoke out against this behavior and the backlash it caused:

http://www.professorbainbridge.com/professorbainbridgecom/2010/08/its-getting-to-be-embarrassing-to-be-a-conservative.html

http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/08/bob-inglis-tea-party-casualty